i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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