when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
