If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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