STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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