Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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