my vag is so smooth its legendary
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
