Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
