it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
