Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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