I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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