hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
