Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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