We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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