the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
