i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
