Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
