it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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