I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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