this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
