Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
