the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
