it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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