I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
