There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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