let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
