dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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