I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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