i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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