I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
