There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
