There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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