my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
false alarm, still single
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
