Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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