I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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