i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
