I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
