Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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