i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
