took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
