before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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