thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
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I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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