i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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