So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize