We named our party play list daddy issues
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
