i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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