Are we in a gay sports bar?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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