If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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