she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
