I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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