We need to start having sex underwater more often.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
