i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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