matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize