OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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