I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
