...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Randomize
