At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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