I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
