At least make sure they are 18
Why
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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