If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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