he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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