i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
