If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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