worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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