i permit you to call me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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